The Weight of Thoughts

Measuring my life in lines
          of ink on a page
and thoughts thereon contained;
do they matter as much
as the web not yet spun
and still within a spider,
or the potential energy contained
in a single box of kitchen matches?

I've given up much to get here,
to this place
where I can freely question
the inherent value of choices
           made in a cerebral life;
the selection of words in a love poem
versus a morning spent casting flies
           to selective trout.
And does God really understand -
my doubts don't reach the level
           of disbelief.